To practise with Equanimity

View Video via Instagram: @elizabethch33k

Viparita Chakrasana TicTocs (walkover)

This may look fairly easy, but the mind hurdles I had to go through to get to this point was quite a struggle!

This is one of the most challenging things I’ve learned to do, for I had no problem throwing myself forward, but to come back over seemed nearly impossible at the beginning. It is like literally jumping into the unknown. Not knowing where my legs are from the ground or if my arms would have enough strength to prevent me from falling....

I could barely lift both feet off the ground more than an inch, and so after the initial excitement wore off, what then followed was a whirlwind of emotions ranging from fear, doubt, frustration, anger, impatience, pain and exhaustion....

I spent weeks expending all my energy...because for some reason, I just HAD to get it. 

“You need time”, Acharya would often say. And I would think...I don’t have time for patience! I wanted it now....and I really don’t know why that desire was so strong. (It sounds ridiculous, I know.)

I was so determined that I had practised to the point that my body was beyond exhausted. I was so impatient that simply waiting for food to digest was a burden. I was so frustrated that I did not care for my body, and I was so upset that I could not get it, regardless of all this effort.

I was so fixed on the result.

But the irony is that the very act of wanting it so much, prevented me being able to do it. It blocked me from actually concentrating on understanding the correct techniques.

It was only when I let go of wanting the result that this asana eventually came. By putting the ego aside and practising with equanimity.

In the yoga sutras, Patanjali explains equanimity as, “the willingness to observe experience without getting caught in reactivity to it”.

And it applies for everything!

It’s letting life meet you just where you are, instead of pushing anything away or grasping so tight for any particular outcome.

It’s trusting the process, being patient and knowing that great things take time.

It’s been a big lesson to face, and I am still in the process of practising this (on and off the mat)...

but for now with a lot more gentleness and care. 

Learning this has changed how I view my practise as well as understanding how it reflects my life.

It’s a huge relief.

Thank you Atmavikasa.